Loneliness and Intimacy: Opposites?
One of the primary things to understand about loneliness is that it is not just the opposite of intimacy. It is the predecessor or forerunner to intimacy. Christ Himself redeemed (bought back) our loneliness from the enemy of our souls. Loneliness and intimacy are not polarized (separated into opposing factions), but rather one leads to the other. In the same way that Christ transformed death making it a predecessor of life, He has transformed loneliness making it a predecessor, key, and teacher that opens the door to intimacy with Christ and others.
Intimacy, a buzzword in Christian communities, remains elusive and unattainable for many because they have avoided the gate of loneliness. Intimacy — the mutual state of being known, understood, accepted, and loved — cannot be truly received apart from accepting our human state of loneliness.
It’s All Greek and Hebrew to Me
What does the Bible have to say about intimacy? There is no word translated intimacy in the Bible. The closest words are translated “to know”: yada (Hebrew) and ginóskó (Greek).
Yada, occurring 942 times, is one of the most important Hebrew roots in the Old Testament. It expresses a broad variety of meanings about various types of knowledge which are gained through the senses. Some examples are:
God knew (chose) Abraham in Genesis 18:19.
God knew (face to face) Moses in Deuteronomy 34:10.
God knew Jeremiah before he was formed in the womb in Jeremiah 1:5.
God knew (was intimately acquainted with) David in Psalm 139:1-3.
We can extend this understanding to believe that God knows us!
In the Greek, the closest word for intimacy is ginóskó, used 158 times. John used it extensively in his gospel and epistles. Ginóskó frequently indicates a relation between the person knowing and the person or object known. In this respect, what is known is of value or importance to the one who knows, and hence, the establishment of the relationship. Ginóskó has to do with the relationship instead of merely the act of knowing.
Some Scriptures using the word ginóskó are:
“But if anyone loves God, this one is known by Him.” I Corinthians 8:3 NKJV
“But now after you have known God, or rather are known by God, how is it that you turn again to the weak and beggarly elements, to which you desire again to be in bondage?” Galatians 4:9 NKJV
“And this is eternal life, that they may know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent.” John 17:3 NKJV
“that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death,” Philippians 3:10 NKJV
What does the Bible have to say about loneliness? There are two Hebrew words translated only, alone, solitary, isolated, or lonely. They are yachid and bad.
Yachid appears 12 times in the Hebrew Old Testament. The basic meaning of the word is “an only child,” solitary, or isolated.
Examples are:
“God makes a home for the lonely…” Psalm 68:6a NASB
“Turn to me and be gracious to me for I am lonely and afflicted.” Psalm 25:16
The Hebrew word, bad, used 201 times, means separation, apart, only, besides.
Examples are:
“Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” Genesis 2:18 NASB
“I lie awake, I have become like a solitary bird on a housetop.” Psalm 102:7 NASB
In the Greek New Testament, the word monos means single, alone, solitary. John used this word in his gospel more than the other three gospel writers. This makes me think he understood the aloneness (monos) of Christ more than any other disciple, as well as knowing (ginóskó) Christ more than his fellow disciples. John is the disciple who is self-described as “the disciple whom Jesus loved” (John 13:23). John experienced Christ’s love firsthand and had to proclaim the testimony of it!
Check out these Scriptures using the word monos:
John 6:15
John 8:9
John 8:16
John 8:29
John 12:24
John 16:32
As you can see, both the state of aloneness and being known are key components of Christ’s life here on earth, as well as our own lives.
Next week, we will see just how knowable God is and how we can become more knowable ourselves!
Read Part I here: https://www.heartlandfw.org/loneliness-a-key-to-intimacy-part-i/
~ Janet Mueller, writer
~ Cathy Schrock, creator of “Primary”, mixed media artist
