“There is no fear in love (dread does not exist). But perfect (complete, full-grown) love drives out fear, because fear involves (the expectation of divine) punishment, so the one who is afraid (of God’s Judgment) is not perfected in love (has not grown into a sufficient understanding of God’s love) (I John 4:18 AMP).

Today of all days, why was there a roadblock ahead with a detour sign? How did I go from a Sunday afternoon walk to speeding down the highway with my husband beside me as he described his symptoms of a heart attack? I was trying to stay calm, but my mind raced.

Going as fast as I dared down that winding country road, I realized this was the precise road the Lord showed me in my mind’s eye that morning in worship. Somehow in the previous week, I realized obedience equals love to my Father in heaven. That Sunday morning when the congregation began to sing, “I love you, Lord,” it was difficult for me to sing those words, realizing they meant, “I will obey you, Lord.” Earlier that week, I had written on my chalkboard, “My obedience is pertinent to the Lord.” 

I got on my face telling my Father I wanted to be obedient to Him and needed His help. At this point, He showed me a road that felt scary to me–the same one I was now driving on. My first thought was, “No! Please don’t take my husband from me.” I argued with the Lord about all the reasons I needed my husband.  Each argument was met with reminders of how He had walked me through other frightening situations. Finally, I let go, trusting my Father in heaven to do what was best for us. He then showed me a picture of the Last Supper, but instead of John leaning on Christ’s chest, I was. I had an immediate awareness that if I would just lean into Jesus, my husband and I both would be all right.

My husband was admitted to the hospital, and as the time progressed, even waiting for a bed in the heart unit didn’t upset me. We actually dared to enjoy our time together, joking about room service and the massages my husband received. We finally got into the cardiac unit, and they found his left anterior descending artery was 95% blocked. With amazement, the doctor told us there was absolutely no damage to his heart. By midweek, we were home, and he was back to work feeling better than he had for years. 

It was no mistake the Lord wrote this preface into our lives before 2020’s pandemic, riots, and election. It started a process where I learned to lean into Him during all the scary things that went on that year.

Ask yourself these questions: 
Is there something I am afraid to let go of?
Is there an area where I need to lean into Jesus?

Then ask the Holy Spirit what He would like to replace these fears with. Lastly, if these fears dare cross your mind, strike back with the words the Holy Spirit has given you! We become victorious as we renew our minds like this.

~ Teresa Wade

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